The mother and baby form an attachment during pregnancy. The mother feels the baby's movements and has dreams about the birth and holding the baby once it is born. The mother usually prepares clothes and baby gear for the baby due to this attachment. The baby hears the mother's heartbeat and voice and cues into the mother's emotional state.
This does not always happen and sometimes the attachment occurs some time after the baby is born.
The visual and tactile clues, holding and seeing the baby, make it much easier to fall in love with the baby. It is akin to a distance romance- wonderful but not as good as actually seeing someone and cuddling in reality.
In this attachment the language is emotion. The baby is keenly sensitive to emotion. It is of course a highly emotional state, the birth of a baby. There is anxiety about the job and responsibility and sadness at the loss of pregnancy, a relief for some people. There is loss of independence, loss of sleep, loss of body shape and loss of friends who do not have babies. There is often loss of work and social respect for your professional life is much more than for the role of a mother. After all the fuss and family and friends go home, it is boring and lonely to have no adult company to talk to. All these emotions, the child perceives.
The child is dependent upon the mother for everything, including emotional support. It needs the mother for safety and protection and the message that she is in charge and looking after the needs of both of them. A depressed mother finds that hard to do. The child needs to know that life is fun and people can play games with him. He needs to know that he does not need to be the centre of all attention but needs his fair share as well.
The baby needs attachment with the father but security that the parent's relationship is sturdy enough that the baby cannot take over and disrupt it. This is often the most fragile thing in a family who has to adjust to a new baby.
Through this attachment the baby learns trust, love, self esteem and the will to explore the world. Education starts here. social skills and future relationships are created in this early stage. Positive and real emotions, problem solving and creative thinking are all automatically shaped in this relationship with parents that we call attachment. The process is created in the parent's own attachment and the sense of 'rootedness' or belonging that supports the baby.
I invite comments to all my blogs. I am interested to hear your thoughts and experiences.
This does not always happen and sometimes the attachment occurs some time after the baby is born.
The visual and tactile clues, holding and seeing the baby, make it much easier to fall in love with the baby. It is akin to a distance romance- wonderful but not as good as actually seeing someone and cuddling in reality.
In this attachment the language is emotion. The baby is keenly sensitive to emotion. It is of course a highly emotional state, the birth of a baby. There is anxiety about the job and responsibility and sadness at the loss of pregnancy, a relief for some people. There is loss of independence, loss of sleep, loss of body shape and loss of friends who do not have babies. There is often loss of work and social respect for your professional life is much more than for the role of a mother. After all the fuss and family and friends go home, it is boring and lonely to have no adult company to talk to. All these emotions, the child perceives.
The child is dependent upon the mother for everything, including emotional support. It needs the mother for safety and protection and the message that she is in charge and looking after the needs of both of them. A depressed mother finds that hard to do. The child needs to know that life is fun and people can play games with him. He needs to know that he does not need to be the centre of all attention but needs his fair share as well.
The baby needs attachment with the father but security that the parent's relationship is sturdy enough that the baby cannot take over and disrupt it. This is often the most fragile thing in a family who has to adjust to a new baby.
Through this attachment the baby learns trust, love, self esteem and the will to explore the world. Education starts here. social skills and future relationships are created in this early stage. Positive and real emotions, problem solving and creative thinking are all automatically shaped in this relationship with parents that we call attachment. The process is created in the parent's own attachment and the sense of 'rootedness' or belonging that supports the baby.
I invite comments to all my blogs. I am interested to hear your thoughts and experiences.
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